Im at strip club and am horny
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
