Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
organizing the empties. That sober.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
