At least make sure they are 18
Why
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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