He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How external is "for external use only"?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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