so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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