Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
