it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
