what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
