Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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