It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
