idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
