My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
