i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
