dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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