I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
