I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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