I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
