You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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