i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
