your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
