no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
