There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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