One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
