woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
