How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
