She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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