I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize