another moral hangover. fuck.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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