is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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