now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
