she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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