I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
