If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize