fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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