Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
