Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
