WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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