Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize