Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
