i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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