We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
