i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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