So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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