SEEEEXXX PLEASE
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
