PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
