i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
