Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize