Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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