i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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