let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
