shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
