I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
