talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
