CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize