What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
