I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
