Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the condom got lost in my hair
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
