Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
