So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
