hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Blood and glitter go together right?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
