What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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