I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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