I need help removing her.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
