How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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