We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
