Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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