My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize