But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
