Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
