We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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