Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
