dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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