My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
