Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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