every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
