Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
